Having a close friend or family member diagnosed with an illness is one of those life altering moments. Anxiety, worry, uncertainty and fear are all emotions that attack at once. It’s an experience that can really test and expose what type of person you are. While there are no magic words of wisdom that change what you and your loved ones are going through, there are a few tips that can help you keep your sanity during these trying times.
Stay Offline. In our internet-crazed society, the first reaction during a time of uncertainty is to turn to Google. While some find peace in reading about others’ experiences, it’s very easy to get lost in a sea of misinformation with a side of doom and gloom. If you want answers, make sure you’re reading reliable information and helpful personal stories.
Keep Your Mind Right. This is probably the hardest part of the entire process. Negative thoughts have a way of relentlessly attacking our brains at any and every given moment possible. Find a way to turn them off. They don’t do you any good and it’s proven that stress has an extremely negative effect on our health. Distraction is usually the best method. As soon as those thoughts creep in, tell yourself “I’m not supposed to be thinking about this.” and then do something else. Watch a funny video, call a friend, go for a run. Anything to turn that negative energy around.
Be Supportive. It’s so easy to think about yourself in a situation like this. Remember that your role is not to play the victim or to worry. Be an active helper to the person who is being directly affected, whether this is being a shoulder to cry on, a companion to doctor’s appointments, or simply sending an upbeat text each morning. Stay positive. Say and do everything you can to lift your loved one’s mood. Good thoughts truly do help and you need to be the cheerleader keeping the spirit up.
Cry. This may seem counter-productive to my number three tip, but sometimes you just have to let those tears out. Contrary to how you may feel, you won’t cry forever and you’ll feel a sense of relief afterward. After losing my dad, I would break down several times each day and noticed a pattern of being happier for a little while after each waterworks session. It truly cleanses you and you won’t feel the urge again for a little while.
Reach Out. Don’t feel like you’re alone. There are so many support groups that will assist those who are going through a tough time, whether you need emotional help or physical help. There are organizations who will deliver meals to patients at home, drive them to their appointments, and offer counseling to family members. If you’re lucky enough to know one of those unique individuals who is always happy, seek them out. They have a way of bringing sunshine into the darkest places and you can learn a lot from them.
