The Good Financial Advice I Accidentally Gave My Thirteen Month Old

I am an impatient person by default. I usually know what I want and I want it immediately. Instant gratification is my best friend. It’s a trait that I’ve learned to control more and more as I get older, but it definitely is a battle at times. As Lyla develops more of a personality, I realize that I may have passed this on to her (or quite possibly all thirteen months old are like this). “Wait just a minute” has to come out of my mouth at least twenty times each day. Last night as I was attempting to get dinner plated, she was sitting in her high chair making squawking sounds and spitting gibberish at me with the hopes I could move just a little bit faster in my endeavors. I randomly said “Sometimes when we want something, we have to be patient for it.“. I immediately took pause (to her dismay) and realized that that was great advice and unfortunately she was the only one around to hear it.

I think many adults suffer from impatience. It’s easy to see why. We live in an era where we don’t really have to wait for anything. We want to watch a show, answer a question, communicate to someone half way around the globe, it’s all a matter of a few clicks. If a page takes too long to load, we shut it down and try again. Our groceries are ordered and placed into our vehicles, online essentials can be delivered just a few hours after we order them, and money transfers literally happen at the touch of a button. I’m not saying that any of these things are negative. I’m in my early thirties, so I definitely am used to and enjoy the convenience of these modern comforts.

The issue with a lack of patience arises when our “stuffitis” flairs up. We decide we need that new house, car, kitchen renovation, or designer handbag immediately. It’s like something clicks in our brains and an item that we didn’t need two days ago suddenly is vital for our happiness. It doesn’t even have to be a large purchase, just a few extra clicks on Amazon each month can add up. There are a few problems with this hurried method of spending money: First, it often leads to us living outside our means which leads to financing and putting purchases on credit cards. Secondly, if you don’t keep a budget your money may be disappearing and you really have no clue where it’s going. Lastly, there is no cure for the shopping bug. Let me break these down a little.

• Living outside our means basically exists because of a lack of patience and self-control. I’m not talking about cutting into savings to pay for an emergency like car maintenance or medical bills here. That’s what an emergency fund is for. I’m talking about the fun stuff: clothes, vacations, and social lives that require more money to go out than is being brought in. Ironically, there is a simple solution: patience and priority. If the new iPhone is something you just have to have, then research the next release date and save up for it. Financing simply feeds our instant gratification mindset instead of looking at the big picture. I can pay $50 a month and get this thing now, but it’ll cost me way more in the long run. This goes for everything that we think we need and can’t afford. It’s so easy to finance everything from a washing machine to a pair of jeans. The “I need it now and I’ll figure out a way to pay for it later” mentality is dangerous and I’m definitely guilty of falling prey to it.
• Budgeting will force you to look at a potential financial problem head-on. This probably doesn’t sound very appealing, but it is essential if you want to control your finances. Writing down how much you have coming in versus how much is going out and seeing where the money is going can be truly eye-opening. It makes you prioritize and sort out what you can purchase this month, and what needs to wait. Remember that no matter how much you earn, you can always spend more than you make. Read more about my experience with budgeting here.
• Have you noticed that the coveted item that we so desire and then buy doesn’t tide us over for very long? I don’t think anyone has ever thought, “ok, now that I have this watch I will forever be happy”. No. We may enjoy it and be satisfied for a bit, but then our ever rambling brains move on to something else. I think this is an important point, because it shows that stuff does not equal happiness. There are definitely things that make our lives easier and fun, but you will never ever find endless content with a solitary possession.

So if we are smart minded humans with goals and happiness outside of our stuff, why do we continue to literally drown ourselves in it? Homes with “good” storage are a must these days. Huge master closets, three car garages, walk-in attics, and if you run out of room in your house, storage units are happy to assist! What is the obsession with all of these things?? Some of it is because shopping is fun and there are certain things that do bring us joy. Another huge part is marketing. I’ll save this topic for another post, but pay attention the next time you enter a store, watch a show, get online, or use social media. We are bombarded mercilessly. A tip if you’re trying to save money is to stay off of things like Instagram. The ads are everywhere, plus lavish photos of bloggers’ and celebrities’ items and vacations get into your head more than you may realize.

Bringing it back to the point, saving up and paying cash for a desired item not only makes it more rewarding in the end, it also makes you truly think about if it’s worth it or not. Impulse buys are almost always a bad financial decision. If you can simply make yourself walk out of the store, or hold it in an online shopping cart for 24 hours, you can wait a beat and make a more thoughtful decision. The point is not to never shop or indulge in nice things, but to do as we teach our children. Put the money in your piggy bank, save up, and be patient.

My goal is definitely not to drag my soap box out, but to help those, like myself, stay in control of the money that we work so hard for. My desire to live debt-free comes from the example set by my parents. I watched them pay off our homes, buy cars with cash, and live without the restraints of owing money, all while earning modest incomes. I also follow many of the principles set by Dave Ramsey and highly recommend his book, Financial Peace to anyone looking to start their journey.

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