Football season is officially here. For many households, kick-off is a divided reaction of whooping joy and eye rolling. In one corner, Husband has been preparing for weeks. The fantasy team has been selected, the beer fridge is completely stocked, and for the next four and a half months the TV has been reserved for every Monday, Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday in honor of the football Gods. Meanwhile, Wife has been going about her day-to-day silently watching Husband’s eyes light up at every mention of the “f” word (football) and sighing as the familiar time draws near. Meet the Football Widow.
While not all of us encounter this annual abandonment, we probably all know someone who deserves this title. And there are, of course, other scenarios such as the lucky couples who equally enjoy the season together, only watch their one favorite team play weekly, or neither cares anything about football (what’s that like?). However, for every balanced household there is one like our recently mentioned Husband and Wife. Husband watches every single game that comes on and Wife falls asleep out of boredom before the National Anthem finishes. If you find yourself in this latter category, you’re not alone. As a self-proclaimed Football Widow, I have decided to help my fellow women and have corralled a list of tips for enjoying the season.
- Seek Revenge. Muahahaha. Revenge is a dish best served by reality TV housewives, ballroom dancing stars, or by Lord Grantham. Whatever your television vice, create a play list. Sweetie, guess what we’re watching after the Super Bowl?? I find balance is key for keeping the resentment at bay in many areas of a healthy relationship. Ownership of the TV lineup is no exception.
- Create a Support Group. Football season is a great excuse to have some ladies’ nights. No matter what hubs may proclaim, if he’s home, and glued to the boob tube, yes he can still watch the kids. I personally try to take up the slack with the girls when one of Tim’s two main teams are playing. Otherwise, quality daddy-daughter time is fair game.
- Channel Your Inner Book Worm. As the cool nights start to roll in, stock up on some best sellers and cozy up next to the fire. You can still be present with your man physically, but mentally enjoying entertainment of your own.
- Plan Some Parties. One of my favorite things about football season is the excuse to cook appetizers and have people over. This is especially fun if you do have kids and can invite friends who have kids. Said children entertain each other, football fans have comradery, and those not so football fans can chat freely. A four hour game has never passed so quickly.
- Prep For the Holidays. You realize that the fall season literally flies by. Start getting your Christmas lists ready and travel plans arranged. Stress is often self-inflicted during the holidays by over booking, procrastinating, and a way too long to-do list. Get ahead of it so that you can actually enjoy the festivities and be present during the limited down time.
- Take a Class. You’ve been wanting to get back into Yoga. Now is the perfect time! Football season has never helped anyone’s waistline (unless you’re a player). The majority of us indulge in too much beer and unfairly yummy buffalo chicken dip. Skip the temptation by getting out of the house and treating yourself in a physically or mentally stimulating class.
- Watch the Game. Now, not every game, of course, but I do try to watch the “important” games with my hubby. You may find you enjoy it more than expected. I can’t say that I’m zoned in 100% the entire time, but I do enjoy watching him enjoy himself.
- Clean Up the Pinterest Boards. Fall is a great time for trying new recipes, crafts, etc. Go through and delete old or failed pins and find some new ones.
- Indulge In Some Binge Watching. This is an ideal opportunity to start that Netflix series that everyone’s talking about. Yes, we need time away from our spouse. If he’s happy and you’re happy, then don’t feel guilty for doing something solo.
- Get Outside. Fall is my absolute favorite season. The humidity has finally dropped, the air is crisp, and there’s a never ending row of leaves ready to be raked. Not that you should pick up the brunt of the yard work, but raking is for me a great sense of satisfaction….plus a killer arm workout. Whether planting mums, or perusing Vogue venture away from the noise of the TV and soak up the season.
- Find a Ying and Yang. It’s all about balance. While I don’t believe in nagging your spouse, use the games as some leverage. “I’ll go grocery shopping during the game and you can cook dinner after it’s over”. Early in my marriage, I found myself feeling like being a “good” wife meant taking on as much as possible and hoping he may offer to help. This is an ultimate recipe for resentment. Luckily, I have an amazing spouse. Not so luckily, men aren’t always the best at mind reading. If you want help with something, you’re gonna have to ask. If he gets to spend four hours on the couch cheering on his team, you then get a bubble bath and the kids put to bed. Balance restored.
Even for the happiest of couples, it’s ok to have time apart. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and you may not have the same interests in all areas of life. It’s ok! You wanted a partner, not a clone. Let your love enjoy those coveted games and enjoy the excuse to be selfish and have some “me” time. You’ll connect later much better over something you both have a joint interest in.
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