**I actually wrote this article four years ago, but recently came across it while browsing saved files. So please replace the “6 month old” child reference to a plural “four year old” and “18 month old”. I felt the need to share because now more than ever, embracing the true spirit of the season is a blessing. The stuff is awesome. I’m not opposed to the stuff. But, I am no longer succumbing to the stress associated with stuff. Delivery dates, cargo in limbo, inflated prices, the 15 magazines that we’ve received from retailers simply for my daughters to fawn over pages after pages of toys. Nope. Give me a cozy home, a great smelling meal, a hot cup of coffee, a roaring fire, and some nostalgic holiday music (my absolute favorite!) and color me yule-tided. My children do get gifts…..waaay too many gifts that I will then be shoving into closet bins with all of my might. But, my mom-goal this season is to bask in the glow that is the magic and joy that radiates out of Lyla as she spots new inflatables on our drive to dance and watch Rose truly take in her first Christmas (she was only 6 months old last year). Read on for more of my outlook on avoiding holiday shopping stress this year.
We all have the images from Black Friday gone wrong ingrained in our brains. The mobs of desperate shoppers pushing and shoving their way to snag the last of the great deal item while onlooking store clerks wish they could be home with their families. I pray that I am never so desperate for a Tickle Me Elmo that I would knock a senior citizen out of the way. Gift giving is a fun and well intended part of the holiday season, but has unfortunately evolved into a greed driven scheme of the marketing world. It arguably is also one of the biggest stress inducers as we circle the mall parking lot and break our budget to find just the right item. While some genuinely enjoy the hub-bub, I think there has been a push-back in some recent years by store chains and shoppers alike. Many of us don’t want to shop on Thanksgiving Day and opposed the retailers who started this trend. Online shopping has definitely made the crowds no longer an issue. But what about the glorification of “stuff” that comes with this pricey territory? Do we really need all of the “stuff” to have a fun holiday? It’s not that we care as adults about lots of gifts, but we want the kids to be happy. So the question arises, how do we not deprive our children of a fun Christmas morning but keep the complete obsession of material goods at bay?
I believe that a balance can be found between the “stuff” and creating experiences. If you think about your childhood and your favorite Christmas memories, you may remember one or two gifts that were really coveted and exciting. The rest of the good times were likely traditions and fun things that you did with your family. Baking, caroling, watching your favorite holiday movies, decorating the tree, etc. These are the moments we wish we could relive with our loved ones. However, in the moment you can’t very well explain to a five year old that these memories are so much better than that silly old doll house she wanted and didn’t get. As a new mom, I will be faced with this challenge for the first time this year; granted my six month old will be thrilled with the paper and lights and could care less about what Santa brought. Still, the precedence of how we will do Christmas starts early. I know some parents who limit the number of gifts and tell their children to list three things that they really want and that’s what they get. Good in theory, the problem arises when the kid is sixteen and their short list includes a convertible and new Prada bag. I know other parents who do a few gifts but then ask family and friends to please abstain from sending additional items. Another one that’s good in theory, but I’m not going toe to toe with my mom and her fun to shop for her first and only grandbaby. Others go on trips versus buying gifts. I love the idea of this as you are definitely creating memories for the family, but I am nostalgic and still get giddy waking up Christmas morning to gifts under a tree. So unfortunately we’re back to phase one with no universal solution.
Everyone has to find a system that works for them. Personally, I shop early and mostly online. I create a budget and do not allow myself to go over it. Items are not put on credit cards, because that makes overspending way too easy. I believe in quality over quantity especially for the adults you shop for. Baked goods are the only gifts given to friends and extended family and I stick to the same simple recipes. As new items come in, old items go out. Charity is very important and will continue to be a staple especially as I teach my daughter the true meaning of giving. Experiences such as zoo memberships and tickets to sporting events, concerts, or plays always make great gifts and give the recipients something to look forward to.
Living intentionally and being present is so important this time of year. Create a game plan, but give yourself some grace to avoid unnecessary stress. Recognize when you are being pulled into a marketing scheme and remember that more is not always necessary to make your loved ones happy. Your time is more valuable than anything tangible and adults and children alike can recognize when you are truly engaged and in the moment. My closing tip: focus on creating those memories and leave all of the other “stuff” behind.
